Where Friendship May Flourish
Wabash is a unique place and nothing proves that claim more than Bell Week. If any observer decided to walk around campus within the last couple of weeks, they would have noticed freshmen in the middle of the night spread out amongst the campus, huddled around burning barrels guarding the campus. Or more recently, they would have noticed the incessant ringing of the Monon Bell, which is finally home. If they had actually attended the Monon Bell game, they would have noticed how much more pride the Little Giants hold for their beloved institution over the DePauw Tigers: a small school of just over 800 passionately showing a school over twice its size what it truly means to cheer for your fellow brothers. It was impressive, if not magical. When observing such things as freshmen guarding the campus, the majority of the student population drinking out of the Monon Bell post victory, or just simply the intense amount of pride we hold for Wabash, an outsider may ask “why do they act like this?” One can find the answer by looking at the recently distributed “Wabash Forever, Co-ed Never” shirts. We are an all-male institution. Not only are we an all-male institution, but we are very proud of being an all-male institution, and take every opportunity to remind outsiders how great Wabash is as an all-male institution. This show of our masculine prowess is not, however, the only great aspect of the all-male institution we all know and love. Rather there are many great aspects of the college that we can always recognize.
However, we are only going to be writing about a particular quality of Wabash and its students that is not necessarily as discernable as the other qualities we know. Several weeks ago, Dr. Bost gave a Chapel Talk discussing this particular quality. During his talk he discussed men, women, and the particular relationships they have amongst each other. Dr. Bost rightly pointed out that women tend to have greater intimacy in their friendships than men. This is due mostly to the content of their conversation. Women are more willing to talk about deeper, more sensitive issues then men are. Dr. Bost mentions “machines” as an umbrella term to reference the content of conversation between two men. I doubt many could disagree that men amongst other men are more willing to talk about their recent fantasy team trades than their current girlfriend problems. To generalize it a bit more, men are more willing to talk about things that do not necessarily get to the core of a fellow human being. This of course leads to less intimate, if not shallow, relationships among men.
Dr. Bost was also quick to point out that because Wabash lacks the presence of females, Wabash men may run into the problem of feeling as if people do not care about them because we, as men and not women, are not asking the “intimate” questions. Although it is true that at Wabash there may not be men asking other men the “intimate” or “important” questions as women may do, the cultivation of deep friendships among men is still present. In such a small, tight community of just men, the ability for men to cultivate deep friendships among other men becomes much greater in fact. Wabash, as stated before, is a unique place and a unique experience. Simply being a Wabash man thrusts one into a network of friendship that only other Wabash men have the ability to understand. We are different; that cannot be argued. We choose to go to an all-male school, we choose to subject ourselves to the rigorous academics, and we choose the life of a Wabash man—a challenging one. Wabash can be compared to a fraternity pledgeship in some sense. Take men who do not know each other and put them in the same situation that is both demanding but attainable and they instantly are connected through their common struggles and common goals. This connection brings men closer than any “intimate” conversation ever could. Perhaps there is a reason why women talk about “relationships” and men talk about “machines.” It is how men and women are. Perhaps the thing the makes men at Wabash close is the very fact that Wabash men are not forced to emasculate themselves in an attempt to fulfill societal expectations brought by the constant presence of women.
This is by no means a bash on women, of course, but rather a meditation on the differences between to two sexes and how perhaps maybe those differences are not a bad thing. Let us remember that Wabash has been the way it is for a long time and will continue to be the way it is long after we are gone. It will continue to not just cultivate men but cultivate the friendships among men that are so very difficult to find anywhere else. So in the end, a thank you to Dr. Bost is in order. Thank Dr. Bost for pointing our yet just one more quality that makes Wabash such an amazing place.
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