An Appeal to Future Fathers: How Hollywood is destroying the family
America is anti-family.
It is probably not surprising to see such words at the beginning of an article in a conservative publication. The mantra of any social conservative pushing an agenda—be it concerning abortion, homosexuality, or sex education—is that contemporary American values degrade the role of the family in society. Unfortunately, the accusation of being anti-family has been used so much that it is no longer taken seriously. But if such claims are true, then America is in grave danger since the family is an integral part of society.
These claims are very true. However, while the hot-button issues of abortion, homosexuality, and sex education are certainly factors that need to be considered when discussing the family, they are not the primary causes of the ruin of family values that plagues our society. The issue is much more deeply rooted, and, for that reason, many social conservatives do not want to confront it. Our culture has been shaped by the media to push the boundaries that define what is acceptable. As future fathers, Wabash men need to understand and take seriously the issues that threaten the family and not give in to the seductive thought patterns that have been imposed by the media.
The idea that family is the fundamental building block of our society is one that is not often taken seriously. While very few people will deny this assertion outright, it is easy for them to point out the exceptions to the rule. Anecdotal stories of people such as President Obama who overcame their familial problems and proceeded to rise to success, along with stories of overprotective religious families who raise sheltered and unsociable children who cannot face the world, are used to weaken support for the necessity of the family. While these stories are true and ought to be taken seriously in their own right, they should not form a basis for deconstructing the institution of the traditional family that provides so much support to children during their formative years. High school and college dropout and success rates can easily be linked to students’ membership in nuclear families. Moral and religious instruction, while not quantifiable, is also best provided within the framework of a family. The question is not whether family is a prerequisite for success, as it clearly is not. However, the family is a fundamental positive force in the shaping of society.
Our nation’s children, however, are brought up in subtle confusion as to this fact. While most parents and guardians will do lip service to the values of family and attempt to live out these values, the movies and television that children watch present quite a different picture. Many times parents do not even notice it. A common complaint is that Hollywood has glamorized sex and caused teens to have a distorted view of sexual morality. This is right on the mark. Society’s definition of what is inappropriate has gone down so far that it is not an exaggeration to label segments in some movies as pornography. Consider the suggestive scene in Sherlock Holmes that ends with Holmes chained naked to a bed. Consider the scene in The Pink Panther 2—a PG-rated family film—in which Sonia, the yet-to-be-revealed evil mastermind, tries to seduce Steve Martin. Consider, also, the scene in Iron Man where Stark has a one-night stand with the Vanity Fair reporter. It seems that no movie today would be complete without the obligatory love scene that adds nothing to the plot, but that serves only to excite viewers.
Children’s programming is no better. Walt Disney himself is probably rolling over in his grave as his company turns away from the innocent entertainment provided by Mickey Mouse and Snow White in favor of the less wholesome entertainment—a la High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and the Jonas Brothers—that cashes in on the hormones of pre-teen and teen viewers. The marketing scheme is brilliant: Convince parents that your shows are kid-friendly, and then get the kids, who have enough trouble getting through adolescence anyway, hooked on the gossipy love stories of characters who could be their peers.
Society has let its guard down against these subtle messages that try to convince us that life is about love and sex, and that love and sex are about emotion without commitment and responsibility. The foundation of a family is commitment and responsibility on the part of the parents. The modern theatrical view of marriage focuses solely on the romantic element. Thus, a marriage or a relationship that has grown cold ends with one or the other partner splitting up and falling for someone else. This is an unhealthy view of relationships built on the shoddy foundation of feelings. As C.S. Lewis says in regard to marriage, “no feeling [even love] can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all.” Marriage is about commitment, and not simply the rush that comes from falling in love. To suggest that marriage is an expendable ceremony that can be repeated as one’s emotions dictate is a great detriment to family. And this is precisely what the media does suggest. There are exceptions to every rule, and separation may not always be the worst option, but in a country where half of all marriages end in divorce, something is wrong.
It is amazing how comparatively few people decry this sexual immorality that Hollywood encourages. Far more argue that violence in video games and movies damages children’s sense of morals. While violence may not be the most wholesome form of entertainment, most children understand that it is wrong and will not start killing their friends after playing a video game. But many children—and adults, for that matter—don’t understand that the sort of fairy-tale love lifestyles portrayed on TV are not healthy. They need to be set straight.
As the next generation of fathers, we can do better. It is important to our children that we find a wife whom we will be able to live with and that we try our best to stay faithful to her. This is the best environment in which we can raise them. But we also owe it to our grandchildren to teach their parents likewise, and to help them avoid the subtle subversion caused by the glittery sexuality of the television set and movie theater. Families are built on the commitment of their parents, and we cannot let the media erode this commitment.
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